paper diposal update

Rick got rid of the paper by building a little bonfire at the cul de sac. He pointed out that burning in daylight is not legal unless it is burning season. As far as I am concerned there are four seasons, and not one of them is Burning Season. How are you supposed to know all these rules? I'll probably have the fire police on my doorstep like those idiots who told the world on Dr. Phil about their illegal activities. How low are the ratings for Dr. Phil anyway? How far they fall. I knew Dr. Phil had lost some of his cache when I saw vitamins for sale with his picture on them. When I first glanced at them, I thought they were a supplement for bald people. Then it wasn't much longer and his wife's book was on the clearance rack. Not a good sign.

Anyway, dear readers, you are probably saying what an idiot I am to announce to the world that I have broken burning laws. Ah ha! Not to worry. My blog only has 3 readers. So if I end up incarcerated over this, I have the field narrowed down on who turned me in.

Rick also pointed out that there was way too much paper to burn in the sink. He said it reminded him of when I wanted to get rid of an old couch with a chain saw. I still think we could have cut it up and put it in the trash, a little bit at a time, every week. Power tools rock.

shredders

I should have bought the shredder when it was on sale. I have a bunch of papers that for some reason, I think should be shredded. Shredding is a relatively new idea. Just one more thing to buy and to do. Because someone might want to be us. People used to be content to be themselves, or just dress up like someone else on Halloween. Now they want to be someone else so they can spend someone else's money. Sigh, and this is progress.

Back to my document disposal conundrum. Since I did not buy the shredder when it was on sale, I decided that the best way to render my papers indecipherable would be to burn them. I imagined a small, steady fire in the sink. If there was a problem, the faucet was right there. The first problem was that the papers would not catch on fire. The best I could get was charred around the edges. I solved this problem by holding a match in the middle of the page until it started to burn. So far, so good. Then whoosh, the dancing flames were going toward the dishcloth, toward the plastic pot scrubber, and the rubber sink stopper. Only a small problem since the water faucet was right there. Nevertheless, it was time for plan B.

Plan B was to take the papers outside and burn them. I took a sample pack to see how it would work, extra matches and a gallon of water. Long story short, I did not anticipate the effects of a slight breeze. Nor the little voice in side my head saying, you don't suppose the fire could ignite anything that would be on the concrete, left behind by a vehicle turning into our driveway? Before the voice in my head had a definitive answer, I decided to let a more experienced incindery artist take over. Rick, thanks for volunteering. Kids, don't try this at home.

The Yellow Jersey is Mine!!

Forty Five Point Five hours of house hold tasks in 7 days. I didn't get much else accomplished, but I do have results that attest to my diligence. Both back bedrooms ready for company. The bear den (my craft room) actually a craft room, the hallway passable (as in "able to pass by"), the living room presentable, and bedroom better than before, and desk work started.

But as I mentioned, the yellow jersey in Le Tour de France requires a lot more than just organization. It's a whole balance of the things that sustain life and give us the ability to thrive.

It feels good to win and I assume everyone would rather be considered a winner rather than a loser. Part of the problem with that last statement is labeling. Just as winning one thing does not make you a winner for everything in life, not winning does not even come close to making someone a loser. Sometimes the better part of wisdom is to not even go for the all out "win". Sometimes the trade-off is not worth it. Sure, I won the Tour de Missouri, but in doing so, I neglected everything but my daily trip to the gym. Not really a good trade-off. Nevertheless, I won, and I paid a price.

Focus of the week ahead: nutrition and my depression workbooks. By the way, the workbooks help you get rid of depression, they are not guides for how to become depressed.

Almost finished

Ninety minutes away from winning the entire metaphorical tour.

Rest Day

I havae declared today a rest day. I love making up my own rules.

Winner of 5 stages!

I have kept to my schedule, and I just finished 7.5 hours of organization. It's getting harder and I'm running out of good ideas of what to do next. This is the part that arouses anxiety. Know what is the easiest way to deal with anxiety? Simply do not do what makes you anxious. If the guilt bothers you, use drugs and alcohol. Without a doubt, that is the easiest way, but as Rhett Miller penned in the Old 97s latest album, "the easy way gets harder all the time". The problem with drugs and alcohol, besides all those empty calories, is that when one becomes sober again, the problem which caused the anxiety has not been resolved and is still dangling in front of you mocking both your hangover and your cowardice. Anxiety is not always our friend. The problem with not doing it, besides the aforementioned continual dangling and mocking, is that avoiding means anxiety won. And, my friend, if anxiety won, guess who lost? Just as winning 5 stages of the metaphorical tour de Missouri, makes me a stronger metaphorical cyclist, winning makes anxiety stronger.

Anxiety is like a bully. The only way to win is to call its evil little bluff and DO the thing that creates such anxiety. (Unless it's something stupid like taking physical risks and then you should always listen to your mother and DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT). Seriously, you have to stand up to it, and give it the evil eye, and get an annoyed and disgusted look on your face and push it aside. I suggest practicing in a mirror for the appropriate look. Also I guarantee, that once, pushed aside, it takes a while for anxiety to recover. It never fights back immediately. The best thing, is that once you've defeated it once, both of you know who has that capability to be stronger. You just can't forget that. Be ruthless.

And speaking of ruthless. During our freshman year, Arlene and I had an English professor named Ruth Knegy. One day she didn't make it to class. We waited the requisite 20 minutes (for a full professor) and she didn't show up. Afterward, Arlene explained that we were ruthless. Oh well, it was funny at the time; I guess you had to be there.

Stage 4. I'm tired.

I'm so tired, I'm getting the stages mixed up. Today, I finished and won Stage 4. Six point five hours of organizing and cleaning my house. I'm tired and I'm not sure what to do next for tomorrow's 7 1/2 hours. But this is the point of doing the tour. I am tired and it would be very easy for me to say, I've done a lot, now, let me rest. It would be especially easy because the metaphorical tour is not televised, not even on local access. I only have two followers and both know me well and know that it is more likely that I quit than go on. Then I remember why I wanted to do this. I wanted to put as much effort into something that the cyclists do during a tour. Effort is tiring. And often not as much fun as not making the effort. Effort brings results. I have three more days in the tour. One day at a time.

One thing not to forget is that my metaphorical tour is not just about the bike or about organizing. It's about getting healthy, getting rid of depression and anxiety, and developing a creative outlet. It's about a balance of things. As soon as this tour de Missouri is over, I'm heading back toward balance.