Before I get to Le Tour, I have to make progress regarding stopping the hoarding. Treatment for hording includes 3 parts:
1.) organizing
2.) reducing clutter
3.) limiting acquiring
There are a ton of reasons that people who hoard have such a challenge organizing, reducing clutter, and limiting acquiring. Right now I am working on organizing things and reducing the clutter. For some magic reason, I am better able to discard things than before. Of course, I still save too much, but I'm planning to organize what is left, and then limit my acquiring. So far, having a little trouble with #3.
One of the things I bought Sunday was a print of an anthropomorphized dog, in a pool, getting 5 baby ducks in a row. It was meant to inspire me, both to get my ducks in a row, and to remember the futility of attempting to maintain ducks in a row. I went to get a frame today, but of course, the print was matted into a 14 x16 inch mat, which is no where near a standard size. So, I have to get it custom framed. The frame is going to cost more than the print. Probably not the best move.
P.S. Hoar is not a nickname for Hoarder.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tour de France
I just watched (again) the last stage of the Tour that I had taped. It is amazing how those cyclists work as a team and put forth the effort to do what they do. I'm so inspired.
I am grateful for being blessed with my friends and my family and the concept of hope.
I bought a little book of quotes yesterday when I felt that I was experiencing a second chance, A New Leash on Life which of course has pictures of dogs and quotes......two of my favorite things. The following are from that book.
COURAGE: You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next things that cones along. Eleanor Roosevelt
FRIENDSHIP: By friendship you mean that greatest love, the greatest usefulness, the most open communication, the noblest sufferings, the severest truth, the heartiest counsel and the greatest union of minds of which brave men and women are capable. Jeremy Taylor
GIFT: Live your life while you have it. Life is a splendid gift -- there is nothing small about it. Florence Nightingale
TO MY FRIENDS: if I planted a flower every time I thought of you I could walk in my garden forever. Author Unknown
AND LASTLY: Don't go through life, grow through life. Eric Butterworth.
I am grateful for being blessed with my friends and my family and the concept of hope.
I bought a little book of quotes yesterday when I felt that I was experiencing a second chance, A New Leash on Life which of course has pictures of dogs and quotes......two of my favorite things. The following are from that book.
COURAGE: You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next things that cones along. Eleanor Roosevelt
FRIENDSHIP: By friendship you mean that greatest love, the greatest usefulness, the most open communication, the noblest sufferings, the severest truth, the heartiest counsel and the greatest union of minds of which brave men and women are capable. Jeremy Taylor
GIFT: Live your life while you have it. Life is a splendid gift -- there is nothing small about it. Florence Nightingale
TO MY FRIENDS: if I planted a flower every time I thought of you I could walk in my garden forever. Author Unknown
AND LASTLY: Don't go through life, grow through life. Eric Butterworth.
Monday, September 28, 2009
I heart my heart
A couple of weeks ago during the "these and those" things that caused me not to blog for a couple of weeks, I had a fair amount of stress. During one of the most stressful times, I had an EKG. Later I found out that the EKG showed that one of the parts of my heart was not getting blood and apparently I had had at least one heart attack. News to me. Today, I spent SEVEN hours at teh cardiologist's office, seeing the doctor, getting a stress test, and getting an echocardiogram. SEVEN hours. Everything went well except it was sort of difficult to limp while walking really fast......the knee is still a problem. However, it was worth a seven hour wait to get the final diagnosis. I do not have heart problems and the anomoly in the EKG was caused by stress. Good old every day, garden variety stress. Now I wish I would have gotten the sausage gravy and busicuit at Tamarack.
I had a stress test about 10 years ago and during the break for lunch between scans, I went to a local restaurant and ran into a friend who told me that when she had her stress test, she was having a hard time keeping up with the pace of the treadmill. All of a sudden she realized that they probably had it set for a younger woman. She had lied so often about her age, she had no idea what records at that particular hospital had recorded for her age. She was concerned that the they were going to kill her, thinking she was so much younger than she really was. At least the age in the obituaty would have been flattering.
Aren't people wonderful?
I had a stress test about 10 years ago and during the break for lunch between scans, I went to a local restaurant and ran into a friend who told me that when she had her stress test, she was having a hard time keeping up with the pace of the treadmill. All of a sudden she realized that they probably had it set for a younger woman. She had lied so often about her age, she had no idea what records at that particular hospital had recorded for her age. She was concerned that the they were going to kill her, thinking she was so much younger than she really was. At least the age in the obituaty would have been flattering.
Aren't people wonderful?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Teeny tiny reunion and Progress Report
Over this past weekend, I have visited with 4 of my friends from the West Side of Charleston and shot a pistol. I wasn't even deer hunting. Perhaps I will write a book called target shooting in the dark and in the rain off a back porch in Greenbrier County with Buddha. All I can say is that flagpole stand isn't going to bother anyone anymore.
The newest of these friendships is a 40 year old friendship and the oldest is a 50 year friendship. Good stuff. Good stuff and funny stuff. It's good for me to take time out to laugh.
Progress Report: There has been some! One of the tools I have learned about by being taught by the teams who writes the series of workbooks I have, is about recognizing the early signs of depression. One of mine is sleeping. I think I have mentioned before that it is my drug of choice. Other drugs of choice have included extreme television viewing and extreme dog. Household dogs now total seven and you are not even considered an animal hoarder until you reach 20 pets so I still consider myself at the far end of reasonableness. As a matter of fact, I think I am past reasonable and barely holding on to the line that divides the reasonableness from unreasonableness. You will be happy to know that I no longer desire dogs as drugs. Now my drug is sleep. When I start to get depressed and I start to think about things that deserve my deepest most attentive thoughts, YAWN......Its off to nap time. Sleep is a very effective and convenient, and inexpensive drug, and best of all, it doesn't require trips to the vet, nor does it shed hair on everything. And, if I get caught red-handed, in the middle of a sleep induced haze of reality avoidance I do not have to hire an attorney and since no one thinks of oversleeping as an addiction, no long trips to the Betty Ford Center. Of course, there are no celebrity sitings but then, everything has a trade-off.
The point is, and there is one, thanks to the work I've been doing, I recognized my yearning to nap as an early symptom of depression and I was so excited that my early depression symptoms abated. Of course, getting an extra nap is rarely a bad thing.
On my way to visit two of the four this weekend, I passed a sign announcing that I was on a "Technology Corridor". To my eyes, I was on a highway that was surrounded by tree covered hills. Lots of them, and one cell tower. I'm not sure if I was missing most of the technology or I was witnessing the super positive spin of a super optimist.
Either way, the tree covered hills reminded me of a story our white water rafting guide told us. He told us that he was taking a California woman on the river who was highly educated and working on a PhD. Her studies were obviously not in geography, geology, or anything that explained hills or mountains. For those without degress in geograhy, geology, anything to do with hills or mountaings and who are entirely devoid of common sense, remember that water, over time, will find the path of least resistance and form a river which is at the edge of, surprise!, a mountain to the left and a mountain to the right. Picture this scene. The woman from California asked the guide why the trees "in the back" were so much taller than the trees in front, along the river. Our guide promised that this is a true story.
The newest of these friendships is a 40 year old friendship and the oldest is a 50 year friendship. Good stuff. Good stuff and funny stuff. It's good for me to take time out to laugh.
Progress Report: There has been some! One of the tools I have learned about by being taught by the teams who writes the series of workbooks I have, is about recognizing the early signs of depression. One of mine is sleeping. I think I have mentioned before that it is my drug of choice. Other drugs of choice have included extreme television viewing and extreme dog. Household dogs now total seven and you are not even considered an animal hoarder until you reach 20 pets so I still consider myself at the far end of reasonableness. As a matter of fact, I think I am past reasonable and barely holding on to the line that divides the reasonableness from unreasonableness. You will be happy to know that I no longer desire dogs as drugs. Now my drug is sleep. When I start to get depressed and I start to think about things that deserve my deepest most attentive thoughts, YAWN......Its off to nap time. Sleep is a very effective and convenient, and inexpensive drug, and best of all, it doesn't require trips to the vet, nor does it shed hair on everything. And, if I get caught red-handed, in the middle of a sleep induced haze of reality avoidance I do not have to hire an attorney and since no one thinks of oversleeping as an addiction, no long trips to the Betty Ford Center. Of course, there are no celebrity sitings but then, everything has a trade-off.
The point is, and there is one, thanks to the work I've been doing, I recognized my yearning to nap as an early symptom of depression and I was so excited that my early depression symptoms abated. Of course, getting an extra nap is rarely a bad thing.
On my way to visit two of the four this weekend, I passed a sign announcing that I was on a "Technology Corridor". To my eyes, I was on a highway that was surrounded by tree covered hills. Lots of them, and one cell tower. I'm not sure if I was missing most of the technology or I was witnessing the super positive spin of a super optimist.
Either way, the tree covered hills reminded me of a story our white water rafting guide told us. He told us that he was taking a California woman on the river who was highly educated and working on a PhD. Her studies were obviously not in geography, geology, or anything that explained hills or mountains. For those without degress in geograhy, geology, anything to do with hills or mountaings and who are entirely devoid of common sense, remember that water, over time, will find the path of least resistance and form a river which is at the edge of, surprise!, a mountain to the left and a mountain to the right. Picture this scene. The woman from California asked the guide why the trees "in the back" were so much taller than the trees in front, along the river. Our guide promised that this is a true story.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friends and Laughter
I'm still pondering my goals, but in the meantime, I took the opportunity to forget all about goals and working and improving my sorry self and shared meals with friends. Lunch was an impromptu occasion over legendary hot dogs on Charleston's West Side. Dinner was planned and was a substitute for seeing the new Taking Woodstock movie, which apparently did not appeal to enough people, because when I opened the paper to check the time, IT HAD MOVED ON. How rude, not to wait for Joanna and I to relive the days of our youth.
As our Plan B I picked up BBQ chicken from Jen's Southern Barbecue in Institute. So very good. I even bought a t-shirt from Jen's for $5.00. As usual, Joanna has the best music and we drowned our sorrow over missing the movie in food and music. Not a bad plan B. I was attempting to tell her a story which took, I kid you not, the entire 3.5 hours I was there. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to your story. I have 4 North Carolina ears that listen when I need to talk and yesterday I either talked to a listener or listened and laughed. I love people who can make me laugh and I am fortunate that I have had those people in my life.
One of the reasons it took so long to get the story out is that we took a lot of verbal side trips. On one such occasion we were discussing religion and how that far far far right developed. I said that "they" created divisiveness by suggesting that the world was divided into the godly and the godless.....or as Joanna would say.....the goddessly and the goddessless. Of course, one wanted to be associated with the group that would allow you to end up in a pearly gated community and golden streets, not the mention the many mansions. (Who do you think cleans those mansions? Do people get transferred from hell to clean for those in heaven?) So, the righteous became more righteous and pedantic and less exposed to other ideas, or even ideas rather than a simple emotional reaction. And our American competitiveness comes into play with even this issue, as people take christianity to the next level. And the next level, is not love, peace, joy, and service to others; the next level is competition. And the most brilliant thought crossed my mind. Lets have a reality show for fundamental christians and call it Holier Than Thou. [The lower case C is not a typographic mistake. It is a typocgraphic statement. I differentiate between Christians and christians]
As our Plan B I picked up BBQ chicken from Jen's Southern Barbecue in Institute. So very good. I even bought a t-shirt from Jen's for $5.00. As usual, Joanna has the best music and we drowned our sorrow over missing the movie in food and music. Not a bad plan B. I was attempting to tell her a story which took, I kid you not, the entire 3.5 hours I was there. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to your story. I have 4 North Carolina ears that listen when I need to talk and yesterday I either talked to a listener or listened and laughed. I love people who can make me laugh and I am fortunate that I have had those people in my life.
One of the reasons it took so long to get the story out is that we took a lot of verbal side trips. On one such occasion we were discussing religion and how that far far far right developed. I said that "they" created divisiveness by suggesting that the world was divided into the godly and the godless.....or as Joanna would say.....the goddessly and the goddessless. Of course, one wanted to be associated with the group that would allow you to end up in a pearly gated community and golden streets, not the mention the many mansions. (Who do you think cleans those mansions? Do people get transferred from hell to clean for those in heaven?) So, the righteous became more righteous and pedantic and less exposed to other ideas, or even ideas rather than a simple emotional reaction. And our American competitiveness comes into play with even this issue, as people take christianity to the next level. And the next level, is not love, peace, joy, and service to others; the next level is competition. And the most brilliant thought crossed my mind. Lets have a reality show for fundamental christians and call it Holier Than Thou. [The lower case C is not a typographic mistake. It is a typocgraphic statement. I differentiate between Christians and christians]
Friday, September 25, 2009
The Ultimate Goal
I still have to figure out what "winning" the metaphorical Tour De France would be. What goals should I put in front of me? I suppose the ultimate goal is to live my life as my authentic self. As lofty as that sounds, that is not a very well described goal. Goals have to be measurable. You have to know exactly what you want or else you have no clue when or if you achieve it or even if you are close to achieving it.
Besides, I'm not even sure what living my life as my "authentic self" means. One assumes that the authentic self includes primarily the better part of one's personality. Or, does it mean that I should continue to be my authentic self but just find people to hang out with who enjoy the challenge of me at my more difficult times. And how do you find such people. Wanted: friends for well meaning but high maintenance woman. Must like chocolate and dogs (separately, not together) and have own car.
If my goal in life is for things to be "better" does this mean I am supposed to be better, or is the world around me supposed to be better?
I do think my goals have been too vague. For years I have wanted to be more physically fit, more organized, and to be able to "find time for creative projects". If complaining about things worked, our entire planet would be living in sheer bliss. So wanting to be "more" and to have "more" have not actually caused me to achieve these goals. I rode the bike today, so I am more fit than yesterday, so have I reached my goal? I know where my keys are. Since I am more organized than the days that I lose my keys, have I achieved goal number 2? And where does one look for additional time? I have 24 hours a day, the same as everyone else. If I want to do creative projects, I must do them within that 24 hour a day, seven day a week inventory of time.
Note to self: If you ever find "extra" time, remember not to tell anyone. It's the kind of conversation people walk away from, carefully, slowly, and backwards.
Quote that I like: "People often say that this or that person has not yet found themselves, but the self is not something that one finds. It is something one creates. Thomas Szasz
So, if we are creating ourselves, who shall we create?
Besides, I'm not even sure what living my life as my "authentic self" means. One assumes that the authentic self includes primarily the better part of one's personality. Or, does it mean that I should continue to be my authentic self but just find people to hang out with who enjoy the challenge of me at my more difficult times. And how do you find such people. Wanted: friends for well meaning but high maintenance woman. Must like chocolate and dogs (separately, not together) and have own car.
If my goal in life is for things to be "better" does this mean I am supposed to be better, or is the world around me supposed to be better?
I do think my goals have been too vague. For years I have wanted to be more physically fit, more organized, and to be able to "find time for creative projects". If complaining about things worked, our entire planet would be living in sheer bliss. So wanting to be "more" and to have "more" have not actually caused me to achieve these goals. I rode the bike today, so I am more fit than yesterday, so have I reached my goal? I know where my keys are. Since I am more organized than the days that I lose my keys, have I achieved goal number 2? And where does one look for additional time? I have 24 hours a day, the same as everyone else. If I want to do creative projects, I must do them within that 24 hour a day, seven day a week inventory of time.
Note to self: If you ever find "extra" time, remember not to tell anyone. It's the kind of conversation people walk away from, carefully, slowly, and backwards.
Quote that I like: "People often say that this or that person has not yet found themselves, but the self is not something that one finds. It is something one creates. Thomas Szasz
So, if we are creating ourselves, who shall we create?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Setting Goals
For all you following my bicycling drama, I am now pedaling at a level two. Sven is pushing me and I just know that Team Radio Shack is gonna love me.
You remember that I had a sports psychology wing added to my house. The level of need in the area of psychology, sports and otherwise, resulted in the wing being a little larger than the largest superstore. One of the teams that has taken up residence is a team with expertise in bi-polar disorder. There are five of them on the team: Bauer, Kilbourne, Greenwald, Ludman, and McBride. I get them confused at times but they are starting to teach me some motivating ideas. If I win the yellow jersey, I'll have to remember them in my acceptance speech. I know Le Tour De France for those people who insist on reality do not allow acceptance speeches, but in my metaphorical tour, acceptance speeches are not only given, they are given in really pretty, long, fancy dresses and televised during prime time. Sort of like the Oscars. Which reminds me, I need to hire a host, for when I win, I mean, [I lower my eyes modestly] in case I win.
My team that I referenced above, wrote a book, in case you are interested and since they can't live with you since they are all living with me. Overcoming Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Workbook for Managing Your Symptoms and Achieving Your Life Goals.
A long introduction to get to today's topic, Goals. When I say just the word GOAL in my mind, I always hear that soccer announcer (football announcer to my international readers) who yelled a very distinct and long sustained g - o - a- l each time the ball went into the net. Today's topic is not that kind of goal.
The team and I were sitting around talking, drinking sports drinks and eating power bars and they said:
"Goals are what make life worth living. These goals are determined by all the things that make us uniquely human -- our personalities, our experience, or inclination, our desires, and the like. Somewhere along the way, we've developed a set of values and priorities by which we live our lives. We might consider that goals are the ends that we strive for (the 'whats' in life), while values are the reasons that we have chosen those goals (the 'whys' in life)."
My first reaction to "goals are what make life worth living" was skepticism. I thought of some of my goals, in particular, bicycling 1000 miles by the end of January in order to earn a spot on a metaphorical bicycling team. (Team Radio Shack is my team of choice, except that George Hincapie is going to be on a different team, one that is being built around him, and I LOVE George Hincapie) In order to chose the team, I am going to see which metaphorical team offers me the best deal and decide based solely on financial and merchandising reasons. I'm telling the world now, if any team offers to produce a Pam Steelhammer Bobble Head Doll, I am IN. No question about it.
So, I'm thinking, riding 1000 miles on a stationary bike is NOT something that makes my life worth living. But when I stayed with that thought a little longer, my mind began to understand what the team had been talking about.
Q: Why did I set a goal to ride 1000 miles?
A: To be a member of a world class metaphorical bicycling team.
Q: Why join a metaphorical team?
A: To ride in and win the metaphorical Tour de France
Q: Why?
A: To work really hard at something that is important to me. To get my life back together. To be able to live my best life. To fulfill my purpose in life. To be of service. To be happy. To love unconditionally. To experience freedom. To feel joy.
As Lance said, it's not about the bike. It's not about the 1000 miles (real, not metaphorical). It's about the things listed under the last "why?".
My goal is making my life worth living.
You remember that I had a sports psychology wing added to my house. The level of need in the area of psychology, sports and otherwise, resulted in the wing being a little larger than the largest superstore. One of the teams that has taken up residence is a team with expertise in bi-polar disorder. There are five of them on the team: Bauer, Kilbourne, Greenwald, Ludman, and McBride. I get them confused at times but they are starting to teach me some motivating ideas. If I win the yellow jersey, I'll have to remember them in my acceptance speech. I know Le Tour De France for those people who insist on reality do not allow acceptance speeches, but in my metaphorical tour, acceptance speeches are not only given, they are given in really pretty, long, fancy dresses and televised during prime time. Sort of like the Oscars. Which reminds me, I need to hire a host, for when I win, I mean, [I lower my eyes modestly] in case I win.
My team that I referenced above, wrote a book, in case you are interested and since they can't live with you since they are all living with me. Overcoming Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Workbook for Managing Your Symptoms and Achieving Your Life Goals.
A long introduction to get to today's topic, Goals. When I say just the word GOAL in my mind, I always hear that soccer announcer (football announcer to my international readers) who yelled a very distinct and long sustained g - o - a- l each time the ball went into the net. Today's topic is not that kind of goal.
The team and I were sitting around talking, drinking sports drinks and eating power bars and they said:
"Goals are what make life worth living. These goals are determined by all the things that make us uniquely human -- our personalities, our experience, or inclination, our desires, and the like. Somewhere along the way, we've developed a set of values and priorities by which we live our lives. We might consider that goals are the ends that we strive for (the 'whats' in life), while values are the reasons that we have chosen those goals (the 'whys' in life)."
My first reaction to "goals are what make life worth living" was skepticism. I thought of some of my goals, in particular, bicycling 1000 miles by the end of January in order to earn a spot on a metaphorical bicycling team. (Team Radio Shack is my team of choice, except that George Hincapie is going to be on a different team, one that is being built around him, and I LOVE George Hincapie) In order to chose the team, I am going to see which metaphorical team offers me the best deal and decide based solely on financial and merchandising reasons. I'm telling the world now, if any team offers to produce a Pam Steelhammer Bobble Head Doll, I am IN. No question about it.
So, I'm thinking, riding 1000 miles on a stationary bike is NOT something that makes my life worth living. But when I stayed with that thought a little longer, my mind began to understand what the team had been talking about.
Q: Why did I set a goal to ride 1000 miles?
A: To be a member of a world class metaphorical bicycling team.
Q: Why join a metaphorical team?
A: To ride in and win the metaphorical Tour de France
Q: Why?
A: To work really hard at something that is important to me. To get my life back together. To be able to live my best life. To fulfill my purpose in life. To be of service. To be happy. To love unconditionally. To experience freedom. To feel joy.
As Lance said, it's not about the bike. It's not about the 1000 miles (real, not metaphorical). It's about the things listed under the last "why?".
My goal is making my life worth living.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
physically fit
The tour de france, even a metaphorical one, requires physical fitness. My imaginary personal trainer, Sven, and I have been spending a fair amount of time together in the fitness wing of my house. If I were to describe the fitness wing to you you would swear that it sounds just like Nautilis in Cross Lanes. It may sound the same, but the Nautilis Center in Cross Lanes does not have an apartment for Sven to live in so he can be with me all the time to motivate me to get in shape. (A shape other than round)
Well today, I thought that since I had some time between appointments, I would slip into the Kanawha City Nautilis and do a workout there. Well, do they have some rules or what. I was wearing flip flops and was told that i could not use the machines while I was wearing flip flops. I asked if they were afraid I would drop something on my toes. The explanation was that someone might step on my toe and/or toes.
I was incredulous. I'm wondering how drunk the patrons of that gym must be to start staggering over and stepping on toes. Not that it doesn't happen. Once in a club someone danced on my little toe and broke it, but it was a club and a lot of people were in a variety of altered states. Once a friend told me he was going to the doctor because his toe hurt when he danced and he was afraid he broke it. Since it was one of the smaller toes, I told him there was nothing to be done to the toe and if it hurt when he danced, he should not dance on it.
What do you think? Do you think he took my advice? No. He went to the doctor who said there was nothing to do for a small broken toe and if it hurt when he danced on it, just not to dance on it. I have never let him forget the time he paid for the very same advice I gave him for free. Although in his defense, ususally my free advice is worth exactly the price paid for it.
Well today, I thought that since I had some time between appointments, I would slip into the Kanawha City Nautilis and do a workout there. Well, do they have some rules or what. I was wearing flip flops and was told that i could not use the machines while I was wearing flip flops. I asked if they were afraid I would drop something on my toes. The explanation was that someone might step on my toe and/or toes.
I was incredulous. I'm wondering how drunk the patrons of that gym must be to start staggering over and stepping on toes. Not that it doesn't happen. Once in a club someone danced on my little toe and broke it, but it was a club and a lot of people were in a variety of altered states. Once a friend told me he was going to the doctor because his toe hurt when he danced and he was afraid he broke it. Since it was one of the smaller toes, I told him there was nothing to be done to the toe and if it hurt when he danced, he should not dance on it.
What do you think? Do you think he took my advice? No. He went to the doctor who said there was nothing to do for a small broken toe and if it hurt when he danced on it, just not to dance on it. I have never let him forget the time he paid for the very same advice I gave him for free. Although in his defense, ususally my free advice is worth exactly the price paid for it.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
paper diposal update
Rick got rid of the paper by building a little bonfire at the cul de sac. He pointed out that burning in daylight is not legal unless it is burning season. As far as I am concerned there are four seasons, and not one of them is Burning Season. How are you supposed to know all these rules? I'll probably have the fire police on my doorstep like those idiots who told the world on Dr. Phil about their illegal activities. How low are the ratings for Dr. Phil anyway? How far they fall. I knew Dr. Phil had lost some of his cache when I saw vitamins for sale with his picture on them. When I first glanced at them, I thought they were a supplement for bald people. Then it wasn't much longer and his wife's book was on the clearance rack. Not a good sign.
Anyway, dear readers, you are probably saying what an idiot I am to announce to the world that I have broken burning laws. Ah ha! Not to worry. My blog only has 3 readers. So if I end up incarcerated over this, I have the field narrowed down on who turned me in.
Rick also pointed out that there was way too much paper to burn in the sink. He said it reminded him of when I wanted to get rid of an old couch with a chain saw. I still think we could have cut it up and put it in the trash, a little bit at a time, every week. Power tools rock.
Anyway, dear readers, you are probably saying what an idiot I am to announce to the world that I have broken burning laws. Ah ha! Not to worry. My blog only has 3 readers. So if I end up incarcerated over this, I have the field narrowed down on who turned me in.
Rick also pointed out that there was way too much paper to burn in the sink. He said it reminded him of when I wanted to get rid of an old couch with a chain saw. I still think we could have cut it up and put it in the trash, a little bit at a time, every week. Power tools rock.
Monday, September 21, 2009
shredders
I should have bought the shredder when it was on sale. I have a bunch of papers that for some reason, I think should be shredded. Shredding is a relatively new idea. Just one more thing to buy and to do. Because someone might want to be us. People used to be content to be themselves, or just dress up like someone else on Halloween. Now they want to be someone else so they can spend someone else's money. Sigh, and this is progress.
Back to my document disposal conundrum. Since I did not buy the shredder when it was on sale, I decided that the best way to render my papers indecipherable would be to burn them. I imagined a small, steady fire in the sink. If there was a problem, the faucet was right there. The first problem was that the papers would not catch on fire. The best I could get was charred around the edges. I solved this problem by holding a match in the middle of the page until it started to burn. So far, so good. Then whoosh, the dancing flames were going toward the dishcloth, toward the plastic pot scrubber, and the rubber sink stopper. Only a small problem since the water faucet was right there. Nevertheless, it was time for plan B.
Plan B was to take the papers outside and burn them. I took a sample pack to see how it would work, extra matches and a gallon of water. Long story short, I did not anticipate the effects of a slight breeze. Nor the little voice in side my head saying, you don't suppose the fire could ignite anything that would be on the concrete, left behind by a vehicle turning into our driveway? Before the voice in my head had a definitive answer, I decided to let a more experienced incindery artist take over. Rick, thanks for volunteering. Kids, don't try this at home.
Back to my document disposal conundrum. Since I did not buy the shredder when it was on sale, I decided that the best way to render my papers indecipherable would be to burn them. I imagined a small, steady fire in the sink. If there was a problem, the faucet was right there. The first problem was that the papers would not catch on fire. The best I could get was charred around the edges. I solved this problem by holding a match in the middle of the page until it started to burn. So far, so good. Then whoosh, the dancing flames were going toward the dishcloth, toward the plastic pot scrubber, and the rubber sink stopper. Only a small problem since the water faucet was right there. Nevertheless, it was time for plan B.
Plan B was to take the papers outside and burn them. I took a sample pack to see how it would work, extra matches and a gallon of water. Long story short, I did not anticipate the effects of a slight breeze. Nor the little voice in side my head saying, you don't suppose the fire could ignite anything that would be on the concrete, left behind by a vehicle turning into our driveway? Before the voice in my head had a definitive answer, I decided to let a more experienced incindery artist take over. Rick, thanks for volunteering. Kids, don't try this at home.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Yellow Jersey is Mine!!
Forty Five Point Five hours of house hold tasks in 7 days. I didn't get much else accomplished, but I do have results that attest to my diligence. Both back bedrooms ready for company. The bear den (my craft room) actually a craft room, the hallway passable (as in "able to pass by"), the living room presentable, and bedroom better than before, and desk work started.
But as I mentioned, the yellow jersey in Le Tour de France requires a lot more than just organization. It's a whole balance of the things that sustain life and give us the ability to thrive.
It feels good to win and I assume everyone would rather be considered a winner rather than a loser. Part of the problem with that last statement is labeling. Just as winning one thing does not make you a winner for everything in life, not winning does not even come close to making someone a loser. Sometimes the better part of wisdom is to not even go for the all out "win". Sometimes the trade-off is not worth it. Sure, I won the Tour de Missouri, but in doing so, I neglected everything but my daily trip to the gym. Not really a good trade-off. Nevertheless, I won, and I paid a price.
Focus of the week ahead: nutrition and my depression workbooks. By the way, the workbooks help you get rid of depression, they are not guides for how to become depressed.
But as I mentioned, the yellow jersey in Le Tour de France requires a lot more than just organization. It's a whole balance of the things that sustain life and give us the ability to thrive.
It feels good to win and I assume everyone would rather be considered a winner rather than a loser. Part of the problem with that last statement is labeling. Just as winning one thing does not make you a winner for everything in life, not winning does not even come close to making someone a loser. Sometimes the better part of wisdom is to not even go for the all out "win". Sometimes the trade-off is not worth it. Sure, I won the Tour de Missouri, but in doing so, I neglected everything but my daily trip to the gym. Not really a good trade-off. Nevertheless, I won, and I paid a price.
Focus of the week ahead: nutrition and my depression workbooks. By the way, the workbooks help you get rid of depression, they are not guides for how to become depressed.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Winner of 5 stages!
I have kept to my schedule, and I just finished 7.5 hours of organization. It's getting harder and I'm running out of good ideas of what to do next. This is the part that arouses anxiety. Know what is the easiest way to deal with anxiety? Simply do not do what makes you anxious. If the guilt bothers you, use drugs and alcohol. Without a doubt, that is the easiest way, but as Rhett Miller penned in the Old 97s latest album, "the easy way gets harder all the time". The problem with drugs and alcohol, besides all those empty calories, is that when one becomes sober again, the problem which caused the anxiety has not been resolved and is still dangling in front of you mocking both your hangover and your cowardice. Anxiety is not always our friend. The problem with not doing it, besides the aforementioned continual dangling and mocking, is that avoiding means anxiety won. And, my friend, if anxiety won, guess who lost? Just as winning 5 stages of the metaphorical tour de Missouri, makes me a stronger metaphorical cyclist, winning makes anxiety stronger.
Anxiety is like a bully. The only way to win is to call its evil little bluff and DO the thing that creates such anxiety. (Unless it's something stupid like taking physical risks and then you should always listen to your mother and DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT). Seriously, you have to stand up to it, and give it the evil eye, and get an annoyed and disgusted look on your face and push it aside. I suggest practicing in a mirror for the appropriate look. Also I guarantee, that once, pushed aside, it takes a while for anxiety to recover. It never fights back immediately. The best thing, is that once you've defeated it once, both of you know who has that capability to be stronger. You just can't forget that. Be ruthless.
And speaking of ruthless. During our freshman year, Arlene and I had an English professor named Ruth Knegy. One day she didn't make it to class. We waited the requisite 20 minutes (for a full professor) and she didn't show up. Afterward, Arlene explained that we were ruthless. Oh well, it was funny at the time; I guess you had to be there.
Anxiety is like a bully. The only way to win is to call its evil little bluff and DO the thing that creates such anxiety. (Unless it's something stupid like taking physical risks and then you should always listen to your mother and DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT). Seriously, you have to stand up to it, and give it the evil eye, and get an annoyed and disgusted look on your face and push it aside. I suggest practicing in a mirror for the appropriate look. Also I guarantee, that once, pushed aside, it takes a while for anxiety to recover. It never fights back immediately. The best thing, is that once you've defeated it once, both of you know who has that capability to be stronger. You just can't forget that. Be ruthless.
And speaking of ruthless. During our freshman year, Arlene and I had an English professor named Ruth Knegy. One day she didn't make it to class. We waited the requisite 20 minutes (for a full professor) and she didn't show up. Afterward, Arlene explained that we were ruthless. Oh well, it was funny at the time; I guess you had to be there.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Stage 4. I'm tired.
I'm so tired, I'm getting the stages mixed up. Today, I finished and won Stage 4. Six point five hours of organizing and cleaning my house. I'm tired and I'm not sure what to do next for tomorrow's 7 1/2 hours. But this is the point of doing the tour. I am tired and it would be very easy for me to say, I've done a lot, now, let me rest. It would be especially easy because the metaphorical tour is not televised, not even on local access. I only have two followers and both know me well and know that it is more likely that I quit than go on. Then I remember why I wanted to do this. I wanted to put as much effort into something that the cyclists do during a tour. Effort is tiring. And often not as much fun as not making the effort. Effort brings results. I have three more days in the tour. One day at a time.
One thing not to forget is that my metaphorical tour is not just about the bike or about organizing. It's about getting healthy, getting rid of depression and anxiety, and developing a creative outlet. It's about a balance of things. As soon as this tour de Missouri is over, I'm heading back toward balance.
One thing not to forget is that my metaphorical tour is not just about the bike or about organizing. It's about getting healthy, getting rid of depression and anxiety, and developing a creative outlet. It's about a balance of things. As soon as this tour de Missouri is over, I'm heading back toward balance.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Stage 2 and drugs of choice
As Mark Cavendish sprinted to the end of the race for first place two days in a row, so did I. Four and a half hours of sorting, tossing, and organizing.
Sorting and being expected to get rid of things is VERY difficult for hoarders. So many items have a story, a connection, a perceived value. Reducing the anxiety enough to let go of things takes time, patience, and determination. Can you imagine how many times I have heard "If you would just clean it up, and then keep it clean". To paraphrase my friend since 7th grade, Becky, If I could have organized it, and kept it straightened it up, I would have done it years ago and saved us all this trouble. Becky was dating two guys, David and Rock, which caused some drama from time to time. One night, David showed up at Becky's when Rock was there. In frustration and exasperation, he said, "Becky, can't you just make a decision and pick one of us?" She looked him straight in the eye, narrowed hers, and retorted, just as exasperated, "David, if I could have decided, I would have decided years ago and saved us all this trouble."
Drug of choice: Everyone I know has a drug of choice. Something to allow us to escape when we get stressed. Most of us do not opt for the illegal stuff, but we do "use" just as desperately as an addict. Our drugs of choice are "free" in terms of cash but can be costly in terms of time. I often use television as my drug of choice. And sleep. As soon as I start thinking about a difficult situation or decision to make, I immediately get sleepy. A two hour nap, and I have so forgotten whatever was causing me stress. However, just like the situation faced by the conventional addict, even after I've watched all the episodes of House or Judging Amy, or awakened from any number of naps, the problems are still there. It's much better to solve them now, rather than procrastinate, but then, "If I could have solved them, I would have solved them years ago and saved all this trouble."
P.S. Becky married Bob, not David or Rock.
Sorting and being expected to get rid of things is VERY difficult for hoarders. So many items have a story, a connection, a perceived value. Reducing the anxiety enough to let go of things takes time, patience, and determination. Can you imagine how many times I have heard "If you would just clean it up, and then keep it clean". To paraphrase my friend since 7th grade, Becky, If I could have organized it, and kept it straightened it up, I would have done it years ago and saved us all this trouble. Becky was dating two guys, David and Rock, which caused some drama from time to time. One night, David showed up at Becky's when Rock was there. In frustration and exasperation, he said, "Becky, can't you just make a decision and pick one of us?" She looked him straight in the eye, narrowed hers, and retorted, just as exasperated, "David, if I could have decided, I would have decided years ago and saved us all this trouble."
Drug of choice: Everyone I know has a drug of choice. Something to allow us to escape when we get stressed. Most of us do not opt for the illegal stuff, but we do "use" just as desperately as an addict. Our drugs of choice are "free" in terms of cash but can be costly in terms of time. I often use television as my drug of choice. And sleep. As soon as I start thinking about a difficult situation or decision to make, I immediately get sleepy. A two hour nap, and I have so forgotten whatever was causing me stress. However, just like the situation faced by the conventional addict, even after I've watched all the episodes of House or Judging Amy, or awakened from any number of naps, the problems are still there. It's much better to solve them now, rather than procrastinate, but then, "If I could have solved them, I would have solved them years ago and saved all this trouble."
P.S. Becky married Bob, not David or Rock.
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Podium, Finally!
I finally made it to the podium. Stage Win for Day One. 2 hours in Nick's bedroom, 30 minutes of deskwork, 30 minutes working on the bedroom (clearing off my desk) , and 30 minutes in the living room (clearing off my desk and emptying 3 boxes. No jokes, no explanations, no story today. It's time to start Stage 2 which consists of 2.5 hours in Nick's room, and 40 minutes each for deskwork, bedroom, and living room.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Tour de Missouri: Day 1
Some of you who follow ALL the news may think, What is she talking about? The Tour of Missouri started last week. Well, as far as I'm concerned, until I watch what I taped from the television, it does not exist. I intend to watch stage 1 today. And how convenient, it also occurs at the same time as my metaphorical Tour of Missouri. One of my issues appears to be that I am a hoarder. This is a subset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and not just being a lazy slob. I have no doubt that I am also a lazy slob, but the hoarding apparently has a component that can be found in the DSM IV. The only difference in having OCD- Hoarding and being a lazy slob is that there are additional steps involved in de-cluttering if you have OCD. Medication is not prescribed and you still have to clean up. It's just 100 times harder for the hoarder than the non-hoarder and sometimes there are tears. Keep that in mind while reading the criteria for my metaphorical Tour. Two hours of de-cluttering in the back bedroom = finishing the stage. Thirty minutes of one, two, or three of the following rooms or project translates to a podium finish: Deskwork (i have years of unopened mail sitting around), the living room, the bedroom.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Out of sorts
Ok, today, I am out of sorts. Please, send sorts. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. I need to report on my metaphorical Tour of Ireland. I had assigned myself some tasks to do and if I finished them, that was going to count for metaphorically finishing the Tour. Well, I didn't do them, because of the previously mentioned distractions of This and That. I was mentally telling myself what a lazy idiot I was and guess what? Lance did not finish that last day of the Tour of Ireland.
I was talking to Johann. If you don't have the chance to routinely talk to Johann, you could read his book, We Might As Well Win. Johann Bruyneel is a very competitive person. He wins often, but even he cannot win all the time. He explained to me, "I had to not only accept the idea of losing, but find ways to appreciate it -- so I could learn from it as much as I had from my victories." Losing, or in my case, not accomplishing all the tasks I want to accomplish is part of life. Johann advises me to "Find a victory in every loss"
I tend to be very hard on myself. I expect a lot of myself and when I "fail" at something, I can easily go into an emotional tailspin. This is behavior that is quite worthless and even dangerous. I realize that, yet I still focus on the list of things yet to do, rather than the list of things completed. I'll never win the Tour de France this way. Therefore, I will change my thoughts. After decades of self-flagellation, how difficult could it be to change all that and welcome failures and mistakes as a chance to learn. Simple, huh?
I was talking to Johann. If you don't have the chance to routinely talk to Johann, you could read his book, We Might As Well Win. Johann Bruyneel is a very competitive person. He wins often, but even he cannot win all the time. He explained to me, "I had to not only accept the idea of losing, but find ways to appreciate it -- so I could learn from it as much as I had from my victories." Losing, or in my case, not accomplishing all the tasks I want to accomplish is part of life. Johann advises me to "Find a victory in every loss"
I tend to be very hard on myself. I expect a lot of myself and when I "fail" at something, I can easily go into an emotional tailspin. This is behavior that is quite worthless and even dangerous. I realize that, yet I still focus on the list of things yet to do, rather than the list of things completed. I'll never win the Tour de France this way. Therefore, I will change my thoughts. After decades of self-flagellation, how difficult could it be to change all that and welcome failures and mistakes as a chance to learn. Simple, huh?
Friday, September 11, 2009
A metaphorical yellow jersey
Now that I am back in training for Le Tour, the question does flit across my mind from time to time, What will determine the level of success I have in Le Tour, or even if I have trained enough to make the team. The point of the metaphorical tour was to work as hard on my "issues" as the cyclists do during Le Tour. So what are the benchmarks? In order to walk away with the yellow jersey, does my life have to be perfect? What is yellow jersey worthy? Losing 50 pounds? Getting the entire house organized? Getting half the house organized? Overcoming depression? Overcoming depression, getting the house organized, and losing 50 pounds? It gets a little complicated and I have not yet found the answer. If Lance wins the yellow, what do I have to do to win the green jersey? The trick about the Tour is that you wouldn't have to be very good, as long as no one else was very good. With all these options, I am announcing the criteria for making the metaphorical Team Radio Shack. When I bicycle, on a stationary bike, 1000 miles, I will qualify for the metaphorical team. 1000 miles for an overweight, middle aged, woman with high blood pressure? How hard could it be?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Training Obstacles
The whole point to imagining a metaphorical Tour de France was to overcome some of the obstacles that had been holding me back from, as Oprah says, "living my best life". My list of obstacles is a long one. And they all have to do with me. Now there is also a list of things that are "THEIR" fault. If only they...... If only I had...... If only he would..... If only she wouldn't....... If only..... Well, readers, please don't tell THEM, but that list is completely irrelevant to my happiness, my contentment with my life, or the level of satisfaction I experience. Trust me, I've tried blaming everything on "them" at one time or another and even the times when "their" contribution to my situation was, by any reasonable standard, mean, hateful, and/or unfair, blaming "them" or the situations I find myself in, even if accurate, did not help me to feel better. Anything that changes has to be either me, my thoughts, and/or my actions. Believe me, I've tried changing the rest of the world. It has yet to happen. That leaves me to change. And change I will.
One of my most pressing (or de-pressing) problems is depression. I have had periods of depression probably all my life. I blamed those times on the situation. After a couple of decades of this, I was treated for depression and began medication. I still got depressed at times, but i came out of it. I had long periods of feeling good. I have always been able to find a bit of humor or irony even at the lowest of points, so I never considered myself a depressed person. I simply was taking medication to prevent a real depression. Sort of like, one expects recessions as part of the ups and downs of the economy, but a real depression needs to be fixed immediately, or else the depression gets worse and more people lose jobs and spend less, which causes more people to lose jobs and to spend less....and so on down that spiral.
One of the people on my sports psychologist team, the team that lives in the Super-Walmart size new wing of my house, the wing that is so much larger than the original house and the wings for the physical training staff, the nutritional staff, and the helicopter pad for Johann, is Randy J. Patterson. If you can't get him to move into a wing of your house, you could buy his book "Your Depression Map".
One of the things I learned from Randy J., as I call him, is that depression can be lifted. I always assumed that I was not a depressed person, I simply had a chemical imbalance which required medication to replace those chemicals so that I would not experience a 1930's style depression. He said that depression changes the chemicals in your brain, as well as chemicals, or lack of certain ones, cause depression. He explained it this way: When you have a cold, you have a runny nose as a symptom. However, the runny nose does not make the cold worse, even though it may feel that way. Pretty much the conventional wisdom is that a cold last 7 days if you treat it and a week if you don't. Depression is another animal. The symptoms of depression actually make the depression worse. You remember all the idiot things you have done and all the things you should have done but didn't and you feel bad. Feeling bad makes the depression worse. As the depression deepens more of those idiot things and unfinished things race through your mind, on a seemingly never ending loop. This makes the depression worse, and the spiral downward continues. You get the picture.
What R.J. (sometimes I call him R.J) told me I had to do was to reverse the spiral. As I sat wondering if we could hire Superman to reverse the downward spiral as he has reversed the rotation of the world so many times to help others, RJ-Man (sometimes I call him RJ-Man) explained. To reverse the spiral, you have to start in small steps. Since part of my depression was not getting done the things that needed to be done, I made a list of two simple things that I thought I could get done the next day. Since the things were simple and I am not always an idiot, I got them done, and what do you know, I felt a little better. When I say simple I mean simple. Simple as in 1.) find a stamp 2) mail the envelope. This only works if you KNOW where the envelope is. Finding both the stamp, and the item to mail would have been too much. Seriously.
This is where having your own race director is beneficial. Each night, Johann and I go over the list of what has to be done tomorrow. Prior to learning from the RJ-Meister (sometimesI call him RJ-Meister), I could have won a Pulitzer Prize for writing the world's longest to-do lists. Now I have a master list of things to do so I won't forget them, but my daily list is much smaller. Much smaller causes less stress and is more likely to get done. Getting things done makes me feel good. Feeling good, at least most of the time, is a way for me to live my best life and the point of training for my metaphysical Tour de France.
One of my most pressing (or de-pressing) problems is depression. I have had periods of depression probably all my life. I blamed those times on the situation. After a couple of decades of this, I was treated for depression and began medication. I still got depressed at times, but i came out of it. I had long periods of feeling good. I have always been able to find a bit of humor or irony even at the lowest of points, so I never considered myself a depressed person. I simply was taking medication to prevent a real depression. Sort of like, one expects recessions as part of the ups and downs of the economy, but a real depression needs to be fixed immediately, or else the depression gets worse and more people lose jobs and spend less, which causes more people to lose jobs and to spend less....and so on down that spiral.
One of the people on my sports psychologist team, the team that lives in the Super-Walmart size new wing of my house, the wing that is so much larger than the original house and the wings for the physical training staff, the nutritional staff, and the helicopter pad for Johann, is Randy J. Patterson. If you can't get him to move into a wing of your house, you could buy his book "Your Depression Map".
One of the things I learned from Randy J., as I call him, is that depression can be lifted. I always assumed that I was not a depressed person, I simply had a chemical imbalance which required medication to replace those chemicals so that I would not experience a 1930's style depression. He said that depression changes the chemicals in your brain, as well as chemicals, or lack of certain ones, cause depression. He explained it this way: When you have a cold, you have a runny nose as a symptom. However, the runny nose does not make the cold worse, even though it may feel that way. Pretty much the conventional wisdom is that a cold last 7 days if you treat it and a week if you don't. Depression is another animal. The symptoms of depression actually make the depression worse. You remember all the idiot things you have done and all the things you should have done but didn't and you feel bad. Feeling bad makes the depression worse. As the depression deepens more of those idiot things and unfinished things race through your mind, on a seemingly never ending loop. This makes the depression worse, and the spiral downward continues. You get the picture.
What R.J. (sometimes I call him R.J) told me I had to do was to reverse the spiral. As I sat wondering if we could hire Superman to reverse the downward spiral as he has reversed the rotation of the world so many times to help others, RJ-Man (sometimes I call him RJ-Man) explained. To reverse the spiral, you have to start in small steps. Since part of my depression was not getting done the things that needed to be done, I made a list of two simple things that I thought I could get done the next day. Since the things were simple and I am not always an idiot, I got them done, and what do you know, I felt a little better. When I say simple I mean simple. Simple as in 1.) find a stamp 2) mail the envelope. This only works if you KNOW where the envelope is. Finding both the stamp, and the item to mail would have been too much. Seriously.
This is where having your own race director is beneficial. Each night, Johann and I go over the list of what has to be done tomorrow. Prior to learning from the RJ-Meister (sometimesI call him RJ-Meister), I could have won a Pulitzer Prize for writing the world's longest to-do lists. Now I have a master list of things to do so I won't forget them, but my daily list is much smaller. Much smaller causes less stress and is more likely to get done. Getting things done makes me feel good. Feeling good, at least most of the time, is a way for me to live my best life and the point of training for my metaphysical Tour de France.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Training Resumed
My most sincere apologies for not being with you for such a long time. First THIS happened and then THAT happened and on top of everything else, I had no computer. Let me explain. Our household technically has three computers. One desktop and two laptops. The desktop totally fried and I was getting it repaired by my new computer guru who is also the younger brother of my friend Stephanie. Since two other laptops existed, there was no rush on the desktop computer. Alas, my favorite, (and only), daughter fell into her laptop in the dark. Don't ask, she is of that age without a fully developed prefrontal cortex. (Under 25). The arrangements for this rather expensive repair were that Dell would send a box and we would simply return the laptop in the box and hope that it was returned to our happy home before my favorite daughter went off to college. Wouldn't you know it, we didn't notice the box until a day or so after it arrived, which made it a little damp from the humidity caused by rain, even though it was under the roof of our front porch. As we were letting the box dry totally, one of our seven dogs ATE THE RETURN LABEL. Well YOU try to get a duplicate return label from a huge international corporation. Let me tell you, it ain't for the frail or feint of heart. I ought to know because I read my husband's newspaper column about how difficult it was. Since the drama of the I-will-eat-anything-I-can-find dog destroyed all hope of a speedy return of the college bound laptop, I offered my laptop as a temporary substitute. Therefore, this household had zero computers. I got the desktop back from the computer guru who looked at me and said, "all you have to do is load your programs from the original disks" I looked at him and replied, "you don't know me very well, do you?" So, he took the couputer back and loaded windows. Like I would have ANY idea where disks were that came with the computer in 2003. The computer stayed in my car for a week until I had the time and the inclination to clean and declutter the computer desk so that I could hook everything back up. Did that over the Labor Day weekend. Get it? LABOR day, I was working. This morning I managed to find the Office disks AND the 25-digit Product Key number and reconnect to the internet and Ta Da.......here we are.
You will be pleased to know that I was deterred from training from my metaphorical Tour de France only during the time that THIS and THAT occured and not the entire time I was computerless. Johann and I are working diligently, as are my staff of dozens. We have had to add on an entire addtion to the house the approximate size of a Walmart superstore to house the sports psychology team, but Johann and I are serious about Le Tour.
You will be pleased to know that I was deterred from training from my metaphorical Tour de France only during the time that THIS and THAT occured and not the entire time I was computerless. Johann and I are working diligently, as are my staff of dozens. We have had to add on an entire addtion to the house the approximate size of a Walmart superstore to house the sports psychology team, but Johann and I are serious about Le Tour.
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