shredders

I should have bought the shredder when it was on sale. I have a bunch of papers that for some reason, I think should be shredded. Shredding is a relatively new idea. Just one more thing to buy and to do. Because someone might want to be us. People used to be content to be themselves, or just dress up like someone else on Halloween. Now they want to be someone else so they can spend someone else's money. Sigh, and this is progress.

Back to my document disposal conundrum. Since I did not buy the shredder when it was on sale, I decided that the best way to render my papers indecipherable would be to burn them. I imagined a small, steady fire in the sink. If there was a problem, the faucet was right there. The first problem was that the papers would not catch on fire. The best I could get was charred around the edges. I solved this problem by holding a match in the middle of the page until it started to burn. So far, so good. Then whoosh, the dancing flames were going toward the dishcloth, toward the plastic pot scrubber, and the rubber sink stopper. Only a small problem since the water faucet was right there. Nevertheless, it was time for plan B.

Plan B was to take the papers outside and burn them. I took a sample pack to see how it would work, extra matches and a gallon of water. Long story short, I did not anticipate the effects of a slight breeze. Nor the little voice in side my head saying, you don't suppose the fire could ignite anything that would be on the concrete, left behind by a vehicle turning into our driveway? Before the voice in my head had a definitive answer, I decided to let a more experienced incindery artist take over. Rick, thanks for volunteering. Kids, don't try this at home.