Wednesday, September 23, 2009

physically fit

The tour de france, even a metaphorical one, requires physical fitness. My imaginary personal trainer, Sven, and I have been spending a fair amount of time together in the fitness wing of my house. If I were to describe the fitness wing to you you would swear that it sounds just like Nautilis in Cross Lanes. It may sound the same, but the Nautilis Center in Cross Lanes does not have an apartment for Sven to live in so he can be with me all the time to motivate me to get in shape. (A shape other than round)

Well today, I thought that since I had some time between appointments, I would slip into the Kanawha City Nautilis and do a workout there. Well, do they have some rules or what. I was wearing flip flops and was told that i could not use the machines while I was wearing flip flops. I asked if they were afraid I would drop something on my toes. The explanation was that someone might step on my toe and/or toes.

I was incredulous. I'm wondering how drunk the patrons of that gym must be to start staggering over and stepping on toes. Not that it doesn't happen. Once in a club someone danced on my little toe and broke it, but it was a club and a lot of people were in a variety of altered states. Once a friend told me he was going to the doctor because his toe hurt when he danced and he was afraid he broke it. Since it was one of the smaller toes, I told him there was nothing to be done to the toe and if it hurt when he danced, he should not dance on it.

What do you think? Do you think he took my advice? No. He went to the doctor who said there was nothing to do for a small broken toe and if it hurt when he danced on it, just not to dance on it. I have never let him forget the time he paid for the very same advice I gave him for free. Although in his defense, ususally my free advice is worth exactly the price paid for it.

2 comments:

  1. A medically confirmed broken toe will garner far more sympathy than a surmised fracture of any severity.

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  2. I thought Nautilus's prohibition against thongs meant the skimpy underwear kind. Wearing those (that?) as gym shorts during a workout could cause an accident.

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