47 weeks to go: Changes

Accomplishments of the past week: Met with race director to prepare for next day (6 out of 7 days); identified obstacles; began sessions with nutritionist; began detox; made it through one day of detox.

Problems identified: lack of productive habits, lack of proper nutrition, issues with anger (just little issues and only when the idiots deserved it)

The first week of training seemed so simple at the beginning. Hire the best staff and let them transform me. We built the helicopter pad to make Johan's nightly visits easier and we built the nutritional wing for Adele and her staff. I visualized myself wearing the yellow jersey to remind myself of the ultimate goal. Then it became obvious that winning the metaphorical Tour de France will require much effort on my part. It will require much effort and many changes.

Changes. Change is what we want the "other"to do. If only those people who annoy me would change. If only the people who don't understand me would change. If only this institution, that circumstance, those rules would change. It has come to my attention that I am the one that needs to change. "Impossible" you say and I totally agree. How can it be me that needs to change when all those people act the way they do? Heaven knows, I have done everything in my power to get them to change. I have complained, I have whined, I have graciously given advice on what should be changed to the people that need to change things, not once, but many, many times. I have spoken to them politely and I have screamed it to them in case the reason they were not changing was a hearing problem. None of this has elicited the change that would make my life the way it should be.

I have vowed to change myself too many times for anyone or anything except a mainframe computer to count. I have made lists and lists and lists of lists. I have purchased books and magazines and attended seminars and support groups and yet, nothing changes. Now I have hired the world's best race director and the world's best nutritionist hoping that their lists would get the job done. Instead, they are telling me that I have to change. Me. I have to do things differently. I spoke politely and even raised my voice (for emphasis). I used logic, I begged and pleaded, I cajoled, I cried, I threatened to hold my breath until I turned blue and still the verdict was that I had to change.

Training for Le Tour means metaphorically bicycling up the highest mountain. It means devoting hours to working hard, to making the changes necessary, to enduring pain, all for the greater cause of the ultimate goal. And for me, it means planning meals, searching for recipes, shopping for groceries and supplements, and actually preparing the food, and cleaning up afterwards. And this is only ONE of the changes in my life that needs to be made.

Detox Day 1 was relatively successful. I drank 8 ounces of water with the juice of a half squeezed lemon in it to start the day and took my herbal supplement. I did not consume dairy products, using instead soy milk. When I finally read the label, I noticed that organic plain soy milk had cane sweeteners added. Today I will have rice milk with my steel cut oats and blueberries. I drank 6 glasses of water, but not 1 ounce for every 2 pounds of body weight. That would have required my putting a straw in a swimming pool and going for it.

And on top of admitting that I have to change and change is hard, this week my favorite dance show ended for the summer season. My television sorrows have driven me to poetry.

No more Tour de France
No more So You Think You Can Dance
No more Lance
Mal Chance

I think Mal Chance means "bad luck" in French. Of course, its been a while since I took French. Regardless, I think the reader can feel my television pain. One does not acquire the yellow jersey easily.